|
Choosing A Mate
We know that it is the Lord's will for people to have a mate if they desire
one. In the beginning when God created Adam, God Himself made this
statement: "... It is not good that the man should be alone; I will
make him a help mate for him" (Genesis
2:18).
The Lord wants to bring a mate to those who will ask Him and have the
patience to wait for His choice.
There are some single people who are constantly out looking for a mate, and
they are miserable because God has not sent them one yet. They have prayed
and prayed, yet they still have no mate. Some settle for Satan's provision
instead of asking God for the patience to wait for the one whom He would
send. If they would look to Jesus and seek to please Him, rather than being
concerned about a mate, soon they would find the right one crossing their
path. Looking for a man or woman to just keep them from being
lonely or just to fill their needs or to be a father or mother to
their children should not be the only reasons for desiring a mate. They also
need to be concerned about what kind of husband or wife they would be for a
mate. These single people are still much in the flesh if they just want
their own needs met. They should ask the Lord to fill them with His love and
peace.
Being
single is an important time to prepare us for marriage. It can also be a
time to experience a closer communion with God. As we seek God to cleanse us
of the world and help us become the kind of wife or husband that would bless
someone, we will soon find that we are not lonely. First, the Lord would
begin using us to bless others; then we will find we are content in Him.
Eventually, in God's plan and timing, He will bless us with a wonderful mate
so that both lives can be a witness for Him. We believe if a marriage cannot
glorify the Lord, then it would be better to remain alone. There are worse
things than being alone. One of these is to be out of God's will by
compromising and marrying someone who does not feel the same way we do about
the Lord.
Marriage
is the second major choice we make in our lives, and we should never enter
into it without much prayer. To rush into a marriage can be disastrous. The
most important decision of our lives, of course, is our decision to follow
the Lord. This decision is not a one-time declaration, but a daily
determination to follow Jesus above all. If we allow the emotional or
soulish realm to dominate our lives we become more susceptible to the enemy
leading us astray through someone. This area of the flesh should be brought
under the Lord's subjection so that Satan does not get the advantage and
consequently destroy our lives and ministries. So many have failed the Lord
because they chose a man or woman over the Lord.
We find
this true throughout the Bible, too. Solomon's heathen wives led him into
idolatry. Samson lost his eyes because of a woman, Delilah. David committed
murder because of passion for Bathsheba.
Our
emotions need to be cleansed as they are not the sign of love. The true
definition of love is "God is love." If God is not in a
relationship it is not true love. What this world calls love is really lust
since it is built on what the other person does for me, not what I can do
for him or her. If the other person fails to keep up his end of the bargain,
a divorce occurs because the offended mate is no longer pleased. This is the
attitude of the world's so-called "love." God's love loves without receiving
back; God's love is forgiving and patient. God's love is gentle and kind.
God's love waits. God's love sacrifices.
1
Corinthians 13
in the Bible gives us a beautiful
definition of real love: (In this King James translation the word "charity"
means "love.")
1
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity,
I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and
all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove
mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my
body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth
not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily
provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all
things.
8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail;
whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it
shall vanish away.
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall
be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I
thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know
in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of
these is charity.
Man's
emotions are not a reliable gauge upon which to establish a marriage
relationship. We must know in the Spirit that it is God's will. It is much
better to marry for character than for emotion. Emotions fluctuate;
character doesn't. Emotions are in the soulish realm, and unless the carnal
mind has been renewed, Satan can give us emotions or feelings of love for
someone of his choosing. (If he did not have this in his power, he could not
split up marriages.) One of his favorite techniques is to suddenly take away
the feelings one once had for his mate and give feelings for someone else.
When he has successfully convinced a person that he no longer loves his or
her mate, then he leads them to divorce, whispering, "You are living a lie."
After he has destroyed that marriage, he then leads one to marry again by
stirring their emotions for another. Often after their next marriage
something happens that they do not expect. Before too long, friction begins
to develop with the new mate, then arguing. Finally, they find the same
thing has happened again; they feel no emotion for their new mate and the
next divorce is in the making. "Falling" in love is Satan's way. The very
expression of these words should tell us something. A Christian should not
blindly "fall" into any trap. Love is bigger than simply falling for
someone. Certainly, the Lord gives us a wonderful emotional feeling for the
one we are to marry. However, this "feeling" without God's direction can be
disastrous as Satan can tamper with our emotions and feelings too.
Marriage,
in a Christian's life, should be based on a decision directed by the Holy
Spirit. A Christian's love for another is a commitment. Of course, the Lord
will supply the emotions for the mate He sends, but that should not be the
criterion for making the decision to marry. The Lord should be sought, and
whatever He speaks to us we should do. He knows the future and what is best
for us. If we trust Him He will not fail us in this or any other important
area. Women or men who allow emotions to rule them will never be victorious
Christians. Emotions should always follow, never lead.
During
Old and New Testament times, fathers and mothers chose the mates for their
children. God's people were very careful to choose those who were
"believers." We find this practice still prevalent in India and other
Eastern cultures. The parents, being older and more prudent, made wiser
decisions than the children in this area. The divorce rate in India is only
about 7%, whereas in the USA, at the present, it is nearing 50%. Marriages
that are loveless can be saved and restored simply by asking God to restore
the love that was once there. Sexual relationships can also be healed by
praying for a desire for one's mate. Prayer is a mighty weapon. God's love
can mend and heal, providing people are willing to lay down their lives for
their mates. His love will not fade, as does the love of the world.
Those who
are single and have never been married are cautioned in God's Word to seek a
mate who is a like believer. "Be ye not unequally yoked together
with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with
unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (II
Corinthians 6:14)." Many precious people suffer because they are
living with unsaved mates. Some did not have Christ when they made their
marriage decision, but they have since found the Lord. Those will have God's
grace and love to win their mates for Jesus. The Lord always strives to
bring the lost mate to Himself through the partner who knows Him. Mighty
miracles of deliverance and salvation have occurred when people have endured
suffering in order to bring their mates to the Lord. Those people who have
the light, but choose to marry into darkness by yoking themselves to unsaved
mates find that their flesh has led them away from God.
The Lord
wants to bless marriage unions and see His plans fulfilled in both mates'
lives. What a glorious plan He had from the beginning for both male and
female. We can trust Him in this important decision. If we will totally
commit to do His will we will never be disappointed in the one He sends into
our lives.
|
Home
Basic
Bible Course
Bible
Answers
The
Ten Commandments
Contact
Us
Read
The King James
Bible On Line
American
Center for Law and Justice
Family
Research Council
Free
MP3 Gospel Presentations
Sponsors
Addictions
Program
1 John 5:12: He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the
Son of God hath not life. 13: These things have I written unto you
that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye
have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of
God. |
